hijerking:

me after 82 failed selfie attempts

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(Source: hijerking, via ruinedchildhood)

(Source: queerpoc)

virginsacrificer:

"do u want the rest of my food"

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"here u can have them"

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(via ruinedchildhood)

  • Doctor: do you drink or smoke?
  • Me: no
  • Doctor: (under his breath) what a loser

keyblacles:

how to get a girls panties wet:

  1. kiss her roughly 
  2. shove her down on the bed
  3. slip off her underwear
  4. slam dunk em in the toilet

(Source: yiffjpg, via officialwhitegirls)

queerchesters:

arterialspurt:

queerchesters:

fun date idea: Go down on me while I shop online with ur credit card

I don’t think someone could focus on the internet while I was going down on them.

you over estimate your skill and underestimate the joy of shopping

(via ruinedchildhood)

(Source: chelleog, via ruinedchildhood)

(Source: trynsave, via fuckyeah1990s)

aaronkirilenko:

*me coming down stairs*

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mom: now that you’re awake, can you clean th-

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(via ruinedchildhood)